It’s starting to feel like there’s literally nothing left in the world that the mess in the Strait of Hormuz can’t touch.

Take champagne. France is in the middle of a brutal heat wave that’s forced the earliest Champagne harvest in modern recorded history. The official start was August 12. Some houses got special permission and were already cutting on August 6. Heat and drought pushed the grapes to ripeness at record speed. Spring frosts had already wiped out roughly 30 percent of the potential crop. Classic climate-change double punch.

And then the geopolitical layer kicks in. With the latest escalation in the Gulf, governments are pulling every industrial lever they have. In the U.S. that means the Defense Production Act and priority ratings that let defense contractors jump the queue . Suddenly every factory making anything remotely useful for the war effort has a legal reason to tell civilian customers to wait.

I’m not saying the little steel wire cages that hold champagne corks under pressure (the muselets) have already been redirected into spring steel and guide wire for missiles. But at this point it wouldn’t even surprise me. One more “rated order” and the exclusive French houses could find themselves short of the exact component that keeps the corks from becoming projectiles. Early harvest already means they’re racing the calendar. Store the wine in tanks longer than planned and you start changing the whole secondary fermentation game. Billions in next year’s luxury sales don’t vanish overnight, but the margin for error just got a lot thinner.

Maybe I should have bought physical champagne instead of stocks. At least then I’d have something to drink while watching the world argue over a 21-mile stretch of water that somehow manages to screw with everything from oil prices to the wire on a €150 bottle.

What’s the most ridiculous everyday thing you’ve seen get tangled up in this conflict so far? Drop it in the comments — I’m collecting examples for the next one.