Just over a year ago, our son – then 17 – met his girlfriend. Because of the war in Ukraine she lives in her own apartment right next to their school. Gradually he started spending more and more time there. Last winter we let go of the rule that he could only sleep over on weekends. My husband reminded me that if we held on too tight, we risked pushing him away even more. He is turning 19 soon and is, in the eyes of the law, an adult.
He still texts good morning every single day and good night every evening. He comes home one or two days a week, and we get to see him. My husband is proud that we’ve raised an independent young man who can stand on his own two feet. I have… fallen apart. The house feels so empty. I cried every day for almost two weeks.
Right now he is in the middle of his IB exams – two weeks down, two weeks to go. This week, with his economics exam coming up, he needed to focus extra hard on studying, so he chose to come home and sleep here over the weekend. It has been wonderful. I’ve heard his laughter from his room when he plays with his friends online, and it’s the best sound in the world.
I’ve learned not to nag about small things. I’ve learned that he needs space. It was a brutally hard lesson, but a necessary one.
You have never truly experienced this particular kind of heartbreak until your child – the person you have loved most in the entire world – starts building their own life without you. Raising someone to not need you is life’s cruelest and most beautiful paradox.
This is a new post on the new dewlar.me blog.
You can find the old blog here:https://mrsdewlar.blogspot.com
Mrs Dewlar 